Every time I look at you. | Teen Ink

Every time I look at you.

April 13, 2010
By Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
Pitiful_Anonymous PLATINUM, New Cumberland, West Virginia
22 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"and all you f***ers go beep beep beep in cheap,plastic cars. If It's to dumb to see or say you'll still sing it, and I'll just cue the applause" - Marilyn Manson


Oh.. I wonder if he notices me... Ive been staring at him all day.

Sitting here, in the classroom.
right now, its ten till noon.
I can't wait to see those eyes.
I wonder when he'll realize?

Boy,every time i look at you,
I fall more in love with you.
There's no more time for lies,
Lets just look each other in the eyes.

Time to leave, you lockers next to mine.
On the bus your all that's on my mind.
When i sleep, Your all that i see.
But do you see what we could be?

Boy, every time i look at you,
I fall more in love with you.
There's no more time for lies,
Lets just look each other in the eyes.

You say that we're good friends,
If you only knew what's in my head.
There's no more time for lies,
Lets just look each other in the eyes.

Oh, yeah.

Boy, Every time i look at you,
I fall more in love with you.

More and more and more and more in love with you.

There's no more tie for lies,
Lets just look each other in the eyes.


The author's comments:
This is something i wrote... It's about a guy that i know... I think people can relate to this...

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This article has 10 comments.


on Jul. 30 2010 at 10:29 am
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

hehe i relate to this too ^^ i was SO in love with the guy next to my locker. anyway, this was beautiful!! i loved it!!! very cute, very sweet :DDD

on Jul. 26 2010 at 1:36 am
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost

i can totally relate to this, i find myself doing these things sometimes to a guy i like so great poem :)

on Jul. 18 2010 at 10:50 pm
Sill_Sitter11 BRONZE, Milan, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

I like the repetitive theme going on. It made it more "flowy" if you will. And your poem told a story. Which means it had a point to it. All poems need to have a point whether for expression or story telling or whatever. You definantly showed your purpose here!!!

BabyV GOLD said...
on Jun. 18 2010 at 6:41 pm
BabyV GOLD, Jachksoville, Florida
13 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
A really good poet write so that the reader can walk in their shoes just for that one minute. Victoria Jones

It's a reallly good poem/song.A good poem can relate to aleast one person, and this wraps up high school love very well.

on Jun. 17 2010 at 3:33 pm
respecturself7 SILVER, Medina, New York
8 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
There is a natural law in life to settle.....I broke that law ~Katherine Hepburn
Love, Is the severest of mental diseases~U.K.
Spinning always spinning....when life puts me down I'll give you a call~respecturself7

I think it's sweet. It captures the innocence of first love.

IvyVine SILVER said...
on Jun. 16 2010 at 9:26 am
IvyVine SILVER, Unknown, Indiana
9 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Wow this is so amazing! It's a really good song! I wish I could hear it!

Oh and a idea/suggestion- after 'More and more and more and more in love' maybe add a line and alter the end to say something like:

 'wish you would wake up and catch me cause There's no more time for lies, oh when will you look in my eyes? Yeah let's just look each other in the eyes'

 


on Jun. 16 2010 at 8:55 am
brittanyelsie GOLD, Highland, Indiana
10 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
–Walt Disney

this is the cutest thing! i love it. the flow and rhyme is terrific. definitely a future top 100 hit.

on Jun. 14 2010 at 10:10 pm
RedvinesWTHCantTheyDo GOLD, Zephyrhills, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You make one more comment like that I will wrap you in a tortilla shell and eat you as a snack, maybe with some nice pico de gillo."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship
"If you don't die for something, I'll kill you for nothing."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship

I really like this. I can relate.

on May. 27 2010 at 9:32 am
JoetheBlanc GOLD, Roswell, Georgia
14 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"the shadow proves the sunshine!"

great flow! rhyme works fluidly, flow's great, save the 4th & 5th stanzas' ending. a few too many syllables in my opinion

 


on May. 13 2010 at 5:35 pm
AlexandraVasari PLATINUM, Fort Stewart, Georgia
28 articles 4 photos 174 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing songs is super intimate. It's a bit like getting naked"~ Gwen Stefani

This is a really beautiful piece! It's full of a lot of expression and it rhymes without seeming forced. Excellent job!:)