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If I can find the right words,
If I could find the right song,
Maybe all of this would make sense,
What the hell I'm doing so wrong.
They say you hit a low,
Before you can begin to rise up.
And I keep on falling and falling,
This whole mindset is so corrupt.
How can love make me smile again,
When I don't even know when I've found it?
I can't separate the lust and the love,
And the pain always has me surrounded.
How could you?
How could I?
How could both of us
Have been so blind?
If I could find the right words,
Maybe then I could see.
There's a permanent fog that keeps me blind,
And I don't even care this time if I break free.
I'm just so confused,
That I can't make my own sense.
I don't know whether to be mad,
I don't know when to feel tense.
I hate you and I don't.
I want you and then I don't.
I would've stayed, I wouldn't have left.
But for some damn reason, you just won't.
I could go on for hours,
And write you a whole f---ing book.
But it still wouldn't make me feel better,
The last of my will and nerve is what you took.
Why couldn't you have given it a little longer,
Instead of doing it at the peak of my smile?
You were finally giving me a lift and helping me,
And now I once again have to walk 10,000 miles...