natural love

January 22, 2016
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this bright blue feeling

 

never could it be my heart

 

 

only cloudless skies.






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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

PresCocoRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 11, 2016 at 1:00 am
Yay! This is actually a haiku. There are some Teenink articles that say they are haikus, but then they turn out to have too many syllables, or they are not in that 5-7-5 style. This also hurts me (in a good way) because I can relate to this in my life right now. I'm having problems with like love in general, especially with expressing my feelings in poems and music and stuff. But seeing this has made me release, and now I feel confident that I can start doing what I love again. It's funny how ... (more »)
 
Allen. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 11, 2016 at 9:20 pm
Aww, thank you so much! ;u; I did my best.
 
guard-girl said...
Feb. 10, 2016 at 10:29 pm
I'm impressed, especially since you did not intend for it to be deep and thought-provoking. It is. It makes me think especially about regular problems a teenager faces, like homework, parents, clubs, no time, grades, etc. and the loss of childhood. I applaud you for writing this! :)
 
Allen. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 11, 2016 at 9:21 pm
Thank you very much. I'm really glad you enjoyed this!
 
writer-violistThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm
Wow! I think that this haiku is great! I agree that haikus can be difficult to write because of the limited number of syllables. I really like what you compare in this haiku, it is so lovely, yet deep in a great way. Is the line spacing supposed to be spaced that way? I'm just wondering because the first one has one space and after the second line there is two spaces. If you did it to express pauses in your writing or any other way, that is such a great idea! The imagery is great too! You are a ... (more »)
 
Allen. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 9, 2016 at 9:17 pm
The line spacing was an accident, but thank you ; u ; Your support means a lot to me
 
Queen_of_Mediocrity This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 27, 2016 at 3:29 pm
This perfectly expresses the feelings I think we all get when we look at the sky, ever changing in color and clouds. The only thing is that line 2 is a little strangely worded, but it is a haiku so that makes it harder. Nice job. :)
 
Allen. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2016 at 8:46 pm
I agree, it's really hard to word haiku... But I'm working hard to improve, and soon I'll be much better! Thank you so much for reading.
 
Sonder said...
Jan. 27, 2016 at 2:39 pm
Euphoria and gratitude beautifully weaved together in the shape of a well-executed haiku.
 
Allen. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 27, 2016 at 8:40 pm
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it, and hopefully I can publish more soon.
 
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