On life #1:ILLUSION | TeenInk

On life #1:ILLUSION

October 17, 2013
By thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"


The mirror in front Of
Me shatters- our eye contact
Breaks; I jerk back

To look at -you-
Are there no more (than a
Hot raindrop in desert)



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This article has 2 comments.


on Oct. 22 2013 at 6:40 am
thatunknownthing DIAMOND, Dubai, Other
67 articles 0 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift; that's why they call it the present"

thank  you for your comment. The second stanza 'no more than a hot raindrop in desert is to basically compare a transient illusion with the temporary, illusion-like hot water drops that quickly evaporate in the hot desert, even before their presence is noticed.

on Oct. 19 2013 at 11:06 am
nelehjr DIAMOND, Lingle, Wyoming
60 articles 11 photos 381 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

Okay, I like the way you took two hiakus and made one. Always fun. I really like your first stanza. It's like everything's ending. The title's great, very eye catching. But I don't think I understand it. Ecspecially the second stanza. It gets kind of choppy.