I saw her.
I saw her hair, long and brown, like mine.
I saw her.
I saw her eyes, dark and full of sadness, unlike mine.
I saw her.
I saw her clothes, so colorful and fun, like what I want to be.
I saw her.
And I saw her.
And I saw her.
And I wish I hadn’t.
And I’m glad I did.
And I’m so confused.
I see me.
I see my purple bratz sneakers, worn and faded.
I see me.
I see my nails, bitten and uncolored.
I see me.
I see my clothes, too big and ratty, washed but stained.
I see me.
And I see her.
And I look away.
Because I miss her.
But I no longer trust her.
Because she left.
And I stayed.
I see her.
And I think.
And I feel.
And I cry.
And I look away.
I saw her.
And I left.
Because I am stronger now.
Stronger without her.
I saw her.
I wonder.
I wonder what it is like to look into my soul.
Is it warm and cheerful?
Or is it as dark and empty as I fear it to be?
I wonder.
If she’s ever coming back.
She promised, but she’s been known to break promises.
I wonder.
If time really heals wounds.
It shouldn’t be this bad.
I should be stronger.
But I’m not.
I wonder.
If I will ever be the same.
I don't think I will.
I wonder.
If she ever thinks about it.
That night.
One night.
That changed everything.
That changed me.
I wonder.
And I ponder.
And I contemplate.
And still I don't know.
Will I ever?
I wonder.