An open letter to you
A person I thought would love me through everything.
Your love was never love, I quickly learned
sometimes it felt like an open fire burning inside me
then it was like chewing on ice.

I forgave you for everything,
I honestly thought you would change,
I guess I'm terrible at making guesses.

When you let a person see you naked its like letting them see all your vulnerability and gawd I had so much and you fed off of it. My problems with my weight,
with my mental health was like sugar for your sweet tooth.

If I call you mean you would be so quick as to fight me on it.
But people saw it all, the grabbing, the name calling, but I let it slide,
I was doing it for love,
This was the only love I knew
In my mouth...
what kind of love is that??
It's not love it's abuse,
abuse: to inflict physical and emotional injury.
I had a therapist tell me that our relationship had all the signs of an abusive relationship.

I was finally the f****g statistic, I was that girl you hear about that gets beat up by her boyfriend and never leaves,
that's me,
That was me
That's still me.

It got to the point were I couldn't even stand being near you
I would flinch at your hands,
but how ironic the same hands that I was so scared of
were the same ones I wanted wrapped around me.

You have become such a big part of my life,
both good and bad,
I was your first many
But I don't think this is love anymore, this is not love,
i can't say this will ever even be love,
all I can say is that I don't care what happens after this,
I don't care enough about you to stay here
How can I continue fighting for someone who won't fight for me