Why are you shaking?

I’ll tell you I’m cold
Or full of caffeine.

Truthfully,
I can’t control my nervous jitters
My spasms
My awkward handshakes
My quivering lips failing to form simplistic sounds.

Despite my squishy stature
I’m proud
Of my five trembling pushups
Coated in perspiration
And the amount of miles
I could record on my fitbit
By raising a lurching hand to answer questions.

Why are you shaking?

Whispered across a desk
By the girl with the steady eyeliner
I could never accomplish.

For now, smudgy black eyelids will have to do,
But no worries.
I’ll put them to good use.

My mopey magician career is going quite well,
Streaky nail polish and clumping mascara only add to the look.
For my final trick
With maximum focus
And a clear mind
I can make my own restless self
Sit still...
For a half minute,
But parlor tricks don’t appeal to all.

If you’d like
I could perform a surgery.
Fix a broken heart
Or a mangled mind
On paper rather than flesh
Where my sloppy stitching 
Hurts no one.

Words never require a steady hand,
Or constant concentration,
For my stories,
My ramblings
Are far more interesting
Than clean cut manuscripts.

You can mock
My lack of coordination
Lack of concentration
Lack of confidence.

You can laugh
At my spilled coffee staining my shirts
My scribble-esque handwriting
My inability to fill a glass of water
All the way to the top.

Why are you shaking?

I try to hold my hands still
To keep my pencil
From dropping to the floor.
I try to hold my brain still
To keep my marbles
From cascading
Out of reach.

Why are you shaking?

It can be so difficult
To fix my stupid mistakes
When I can’t
Keep a single thought stable.
My ideas jumping in unison
With my fingertips.

Despite the rude comments
And judgemental stares
I’ll try to laugh
At my mistakes
My faults
My mind
My tremor.