Did you think

that leaving

was the right thing

to do?

Did you think

storming out

would help me,

would help you?

Did you ever think

that living

in a trailer park

alone

would cure you?

Would smash your bottles

and mend your heart,

like a good therapy?

Did you think

that I would thrive

without a dad?

That I'd never

pursue boyfriends

just like you

who want to love me

and drive away?

Did you ever think

of me,

when you pulled out

sipping your mug

while I

sat on the curb

and cried?

For hours I

stayed there

waiting for you,

for days I set

your spot at the table

hoping

you'd appear,

for weeks I

slept with

your college sweater

that still

smelled like

your breath,

for months I told people

I had a dad,

but he was off on a

business

trip,

then I started to say

no

I don't have a father

It's just me

and my mom

and my dog.

Yes, I don't

have a father,

unless you count that

sad man

in the trailer park

who calls everyone

"love"

Yes, I don't

have a father,

unless you count

someone who left

us all

a long time ago.

Yes,

yes,

I don't have a dad

but it doesn't scare me anymore,

I know

you're out there

somewhere

waiting

watching

drinking

and maybe

maybe

you're thinking about

your sugar pie

and how she can't stop

thinking of you.