Dreamer | Teen Ink


October 31, 2017
By MikeyG PLATINUM, Salt Lake City, Utah
MikeyG PLATINUM, Salt Lake City, Utah
38 articles 17 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change-Carl Rogers

It seems like my life
My goals and my friends,
And my future wife
What am I even good at?
Hardly a trace
Just afew things I do well every day
But never improving
Oh no, that’s not me
I continue not moving thinking I’m free
What, freedom you say?
Hell no it’s a cell
Free in anxiety to explore hell
I’m just getting by
So how do stand?
How do I even create a new plan?
How do I preach:
“Never give up!”
When I’m so far down it looks like I’m stuck
I just want some meaning
I write in the night
But darkness won’t lift if you snuff your own light
I guess I’m just worried
For me and for all
For my girl, and the real me, when my façade falls
When I find I’m a monster
A beast without hope
Stoically guiding a grand, sinking boat
All that I went through
Is dust on the ground
And I’ll pass from this earth never making a sound
Real Mike? Are you there?
Please say a few words
I want to make sure all these feelings are heard
Please come back strong
And try to inspire me
You’re always a ghost in the corner I can’t see
This life is so fragile
And so damn complex
So please help me soften my mind in this test
I know I’ll do better
But just for today
I’m writing and crying and wasting away

The author's comments:

I'm just having a really bad time in college. I'm so lonely and i'm trying so hard to be a good person but on days like today I just feel like I'm wearing a mask to keep myself from a terrible truth. I don't feel like people care about my writing or art or anything and I'm just wasting my time. I really need some people on my side today, including myself.

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