4 AM Thoughts

May 25, 2017

I still don’t know why I lie here at 4 AM
My mind an endless library of stories and words
That I absolutely MUST read
As the minutes tick forward
Carried out by the hands of caffeine
On toward the inevitable disaster
Of my sleep-deprived emotions

I still don’t know why I wonder about certain things
At the most unreasonable hours
When I scientifically should be sleeping
But can’t help diving into the freaking cosmos
To find the answers to my existence
Somewhere out in the universe
As it taunts me with black holes and shooting stars
Yeah, there goes another possible end
To my mind’s insatiable curiosity

I still don’t know why the darkness captivates me
With all my secrets I can only whisper to the shadows
And the silence that teaches me more
Than my heart ever could
That’s right heart, I’m pointing the finger at you
So PLEASE get your act together already
And just do your job at keeping me alive
Without hammering your personal opinions into me
Every time I want to remain calm and logical

I still don’t know why the sunset is orange
Or why it makes me feel so lonely when it fades away
Or why the street lamps make me so angry
When they blink on in their own sickly orange hues
As if trying to take the place of something
That they can never compare to
I wonder how the lamps feel about being replacements

I still don’t know why I love dusk
As the first stars waver unsteadily into light
In the darkening sky that wears
A millions shades of blue from horizon to nightfall
Or why it seems to be caught in the crossfire
Of a winning fight of night over day
Or why it seems so fragile
Just before it gives up and falls into darkness

I still don’t  know why the birds get up so damn early
As if they don’t know the meaning of
People-who-drank-too-much-coffee-before-bed-
And-will-be-sleeping-till-noon
Nor why I lie here at 4:30 AM writing a poem
That I still don’t know why I started writing
And am beginning to regret because now
The cosmos is asking me questions instead






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