this is a story
about how i found it

(i found it replacing his warmth on the other side of the bed)

didn't take me long to realize that it was everywhere

(i found it standing on the other side of the wall as he listened to his parents fight from his bedroom)

it rippled into my life
until it became
part of
it

(i found it humming lullabies to her as she swallowed the entire bottle of pills)

it surrounded me
like the type of itch that's constant and
faint but
impossible to locate

(i found it sitting next to me as we watched children starving, soldiers dying, mothers crying through the TV screen)

there were days when 
i thought it was all that was left in me.

(i found it sighing as she drank her life away)

until the day

(i found it leading me to you)

you told me that
you were 
a little broken
too

(i found it watching us heal)

from you i learned to
embrace it to
understand it

(i found it hurting a little less)

it was still there
it was pain
it was grief
it was despair
it was still everywhere

(i found it lurking in the darkness)

but you remind me of the
hope and euphoria
that come with it

and that i could possibly find them too.

(i will find them, somehow)

this is a story
about how we used it
to find each other