I usually love
Costume day
In dance class
Trying dresses
Twirling before the mirror
Sequins and sparkles
Cover the floor
Group pictures
With weird faces
And poses

Today was
Different
Today
The dress
Was tight
Form fitting
Unflattering
I could see my
Belly rolls,
Stretch marks

Today was
Different
Today
The mirror
Showed
My flaws
Imperfections
My body rolls
My acne
My cellulite-
Covered knees
My body hair

Today was
Different
Today
The mirror
Showed
Everyone else’s
Beauties
Their perfectly
Styled hair
Their small waists
Their curves
Their glossed lips
Their manicured nails

Today
Was different
Today
The sequins
Fell in
Hurricanes
Each one
Shouting
My insecurities
Twirling
In the never ending
Wind
Never stopping
Never ceasing
Until they hit the
Cold, hard
Ground

Today
Was Different
Today
I sucked in
During the pictures
Put on
A smile
As fake as plastic
Faking my
Happiness
Faking my
Perfection

Today
Was different
Today
I had a small, fake
Smile
No tongue out
No weird expression
That radiated
Joy

Today
Was different
Today
I had one pose
The pose that
Made me look
The best
Not the one
That made me feel
The best

Today
Was different
Today
I realised
I admired
Everyone else’s beauty
But not
My own
Their fat rolls look
Natural
Mine look unflattering
Unhealthy
Their hair looks perfect
Mine looks messy
Full of knots
They look amazing
I don’t

Today
Was different
Today
I realised the
Gravity
Of my self doubt
And anxiety
And I wish I
Didn’t
I wish
Today
Was NOT different
But it was