When you don't believe in Santa Claus
Every adult views you as a threat
A grenade whose pin has already been pulled.
They warn you "don't tell our children"
And they warn you again
And again
And again.
But your parents had already told you that.
When the children around you were having their heads filled
With Images of a man in red suit
And a sleigh flown by reindeer
Your parents were telling you that it was a secret
A secret you mustn't tell even your best friend.
Their parents would tell them in time.
And you kept your secret.
You kept it well.
Even when people asked you
You said you believed.
Because you knew that they'd say you were wrong
Relentlessly.
And when Santa was mentioned at Christmas
You always knew not to join in.
Every adult in the room was on red alert
Waiting for you to say the wrong thing.
Not knowing every reindeer's name seemed like a personal attack
And every comment was met with a glare.
Not from your own parents
They knew you understood
It was from your grandparents
Your aunts
Your uncles
They saw you as a threat
A time bomb
Tick
Tick
Ticking
Until you ruined the secret
But you never did
Even when all your cousins were grown up
Even when everyone you knew stopped believing in Santa
You never told a soul that you didn't believe
That he wasn't real.
And no one ever said thank you
They never praised you for years of never telling
They thought it was your duty
They burdened you from the time you started school
With a secret you couldn't tell
And your only reward
Was the knowledge that you always knew the truth.