There is a universal truth
that breakups suck.
There are the breakups
that end in anger
or betrayal.

But I think that the worst
are the ones that things just aren’t working anymore.
Maybe it’s not the right time,
maybe you just aren’t connecting anymore.
But you still love each other.

So then you have to deal with the not being together part.
And that’s not so bad.
People usually just find more time for other things that they enjoy.
But then when you see them again.
And you get that feeling in your chest where
your heart seems to swell because you
love this person
so much.
And you also get that sinking feeling in your gut because
you love this person and they
aren’t yours anymore.
And you stay up at night
wondering when the I love you’s
became This isn’t working
wondering when the kisses
became tears
wondering when it went wrong.

The grieving process is a difficult one.
There is no one
way for someone to go through it.
There is all of this chatter about
the five stages of grief.
But how do you know how to grieve
when your heart doesn’t follow a guideline?

What gave you the right
to smile at me
when I was grieving you when you weren't dead?

Why does it feel
like the person I loved
died?

Why did you
not
choose
me.