Lungs laced with cyanide

Tongue tied and full of pride

Making strides twoards who I'll never be

I rip my heart apart and start to scream

Screaming. Tears streaming

Like a lake of lost dreaming

Throat throbbing with words I shouldn't say

As I push and pull away

Further, further I'm fading

Wishing, wanting, waiting

To be more than what I think

But this boat won't float and I'll sink

Demanding I dive deeper down

Past the pits of Hell; my playground

And now I'm here and you're away

But this is my fault and I'm to blame

So like scissors slicing straight on perforated lines

This thing threatens to tear into this tattered heart of mine

And I'll let it and won't regret it

So forget it. I'm not coming back.

But I'm guessing you don't give a damn

You've evaluated everything I am

And everything I'm not

You used to care but I guess you forgot

Anyways now I'm fine

How were you when I died? Oh my.

But your feelings weren't hurt 

When I said I wanted to be under dirt

Because it's alright anyways. Right?

So long as I survive the sleepless nights

And wake up without getting caught 

Wrestling thoughts you thought I fought

But I did not. Instead I quit.

Like my heart quit flooding blood to my wrists.

I quit.