I’m an idiot because once
before I even hit the eighth grade this boy asked me
if I would still love him
even after he moves hundreds of miles away, I said yes.
he questioned if I was telling the truth
because I so young and naive.
I stuck with my answer, and still said yes.

Junior year I asked him if he was going to come back for my prom.
He denied my request and I,
felt like an idiot for asking.

We both were serious about our sports,
any spare time we had was spent practicing and preparing.
as an idiot, I ask him why he didn’t just live life?
he said, my dream means everything to me,
I will work and practice every chance I get
life for me isn’t meant to enjoy.

The distance grew wider when
he decided he would try out for a major league,
it was his dream, that he worked away is life for.
Everything went to plan, he made it.
Not even two weeks passed,
A car not paying attention ended everything he had going for him,
His right leg was crushed,
along with every piece of his heart.
His now former coach looked at him and spoke,
“What a shame, he was so young.”

The career he thought he was guaranteed,
wiped away in an instant.
He gave up his life, for nothing in return.

And maybe I’m an idiot for thinking I could have saved him,
the bills could no longer be payed,
He gave up and no longer played.
his life full of regret and envy, that lit a fire inside of him.

But depression, too, is a kind of fire.
And that fire burned him to ashes.