Dear friend
Have you ever felt completely alone

in a room full of people?
The black sheep among a flock of seemingly perfect white lambs?
No. I bet you haven't.
Have you ever wished to the heavens that you could just stop and go home
trying to drown out the pounding music and yells
and find yourself reciting this futile prayer in your bedroom?
Have you ever given absolutely everything
for a person who said your friendship means the world to them
that you will be friends
until you are both in the ground
and then see that that same world and your meaning have crumbled away?
No. I bet you haven't.
Because when you need help, I give my all.

You don't even know or realize. Even when I shouldn't help you because I'm busy or incapacitated, I do it anyway with all my heart.
And if I can't help physically, I send my heart, my prayers, my thoughts and I hurt for you.
And then my foolish heart cares and cares and cares and thinks that maybe, just maybe I can depend on you

and I turn my head for a second and look back at you with a smile but you have disappeared.
Into thin air.
Gone.
Leaving only the echoes of your promises
a smile melting off my face
and so-called friendship.

And yet, my friend, I forgive you.

Because I can't hurt you. Or myself. By witholding my forgiveness.

Sincerely,

The Black Sheep