Here I stand on that green American grass,
and under the grass lies American soil-
Land of the Free,
Home of the Brave.
I see my son as his head pops up
From the chair. He admires the fireworks
That ignite the sky.
That’s my son.
That’s my son, JUST my son.

10 February 2013 - North Marajah Dist.
3rd Battalion 9th Regiment
Foe’s fire flings forth from the firearm
Protect my men!
Protect my men…
Protect my men.

My wife at my side
Knows what I see, feels my pain-
Neighbors look at me
Sympathetic, uncomfortable

Mothers summon their children
Fearful of how I might react.
Fathers stand as a barrier,
Thinking I am a monster,
a beast ready to attack, ready to kill.
I’m not a monster…
I’m not a monster-
I am not a monster.

By any means necessary-
It is up to me, I have to end this exchange.
one hundred yards away-
My target is relentless.
Is is up to me, everything is silent,
Almost as if it is calm.
My finger muscles contract
And gently squeeze the end.
It becomes apparent to me what I have done.
By any means necessary…
By any means necessary -
by ANY means!

It is all rushing back,
the sounds, the sights,
Fireworks explode,
a beautiful array of color.
My wife careful not to touch me,
not to speak too loud, not to stand too close,
My eyes are fixed at the ground,
Tears well up in my eyes.

i am not a monster…