Chemical imbalance.

Endorphin and dopamine houses are foreclosed on Cranium Street.
But it’s okay,
eight crippling years it has been this way.
At age twelve I drifted up to cloud nine for the first time,
it changed my life, I thought it made me happy.
I’ve never felt that way because of my disorders;
Major Depressive,
Unipolar.
Soon, Mary didn’t fill the void, it wasn’t enough.
I needed something stronger, ‘cause life is so rough.
So fourteen years old, I needed an antidepressant prescription,
tried to tell my folks, but they refused to listen.
Went out on my own, got what I wanted, wasn’t prescribed.
If I didn’t try opiates, I would not be alive.

Money became an issue so did things to earn it,
I had to break some bones but my opponents didn’t deserve it.
I’d give you the details, but the first rule says I can’t.
Don’t know how it started, but this is where I landed
Came home late at night covered in blood, black, and blue.
Would wake up the next morning, turn into a zombie
then I got to school.
Thinking would this be when I OD?
Probably.
Friends would say they’re concerned when they saw me.
Kept walking the lonely road, kept drifting farther out to sea.
Then one day I sat down with my family,
Rehab.
I didn’t have a choice but I knew they were right,
packed up my things without putting up a fight.

Spent twenty-eight days rehabilitating, battling a war with addiction.
Lost my sanity,
they wouldn’t listen, I couldn’t leave.
It was on the twenty-eighth day that I got EE’d,
left in ankle shackles, and handcuffed around my waist.
2 ½ hours I was being driven by police
Arrived at the ER, three days spent handcuffed to my seat.
I wanted to give up, I was beat.
I was driven off to my second psych ward I’ve been to, with all the other crazies.
But I saw a brighter light, thought I could get out of this place, maybe.
2 weeks in the whack shack, 45 days I was gone in total.
Used to want to die every second but now I feel immortal.
Stronger than ever.
I crushed up my dreams long ago, now I’m fitting all the pieces back together.
Told my friends one day I’ll be the
Greatest
Boxer
Ever.