Reality for me is watching my life fall apart,
All I can do is watch with pain in my heart.
My soul aches so bad and falls to my feet,
I can’t feel at all; the wound is too deep.
To watch him love her is an ache unimaginable,
To see them together causes a stinging unfathomable.
I try to let go with all the strength I have,
But how can I release when he’s the only person I had?
My friends say it’s “His loss,” but it is my loss too,
My heart is broken and his appears to be new.
I try to be fine and yet I still cry,
I wait and I wonder if my tears will ever dry.
The emotion and pain are so very real,
How could they not be with all the hurt that I feel?
All of my questions, he left unanswered,
All of my heart, left broken and shattered.
“You’re only a teenager,” they tell me every day,
As if my youth invalidates the hurt in some way.
“It hurts to watch him love her” I whisper so soft,
So I’ll keep my heart guarded, my feelings aloft.
I feel as if my life will never be the same,
That everything will crumble if someone speaks his name.
For he was more than a love, he was my companion, my friend,
The one I depended on, whose care I thought would never end.
This is my sad reality, the heartbreak and the pain,
Knowing I’ll wake up tomorrow, but nothing will have changed.
And yet through loss comes hope of new life
I’ll try to make it all worth it—through the pain and the strife
I’ll look for a new reality, though life won’t be perfect.
I’ll sing and laugh and love my life, though without him I feel broken.
So here’s to hope, to life and to me,
As I struggle to cope with this new sad reality.