Falling up:

It was all downhill from where you were,
you felt stuck,
trapped,
alone.
Felt like it could never get better,
like you could never tell them,
like you could never be happy.
You realized you could not wait until you were an adult to tell them,
you couldn't leaf that long pretending,
so you made a choice to take your chances,
and tell them.

You took a leap,
you told them how you felt and who you were,
they accepted you,

they supported you,
they tried their best.

It still hurt when they got it wrong,
but the times they got it right it felt like you could fly,
you felt freer than you had ever allowed yourself to be.

It still felt like you were falling,
unsure,
unstable,
waiting for the future to unravel,
living day by day.
But it felt different,
it was still falling but it wasn't bad,
it was getting better,
it was moving up.
It is like falling in reverse.

With all the not knowing of falling,
but with all the securities of getting better,
falling in reverse,
things were falling up.

Sincerly Spencer,

a depressed trans boy who is getting better.