I might've seen you
lying on the grass
But I passed
The sun shone on you
As you reclined back
But that was all
I could catch.

And the leaves were crisping golden
At their edges
Rusty, choked
Like the paint flaked off my nails
Clinging to your coat

For once upon a time
I'd have been
Straddling your lap
Brushing the fall
From the strands of your hair
Watching while you laughed

Stripes
and kites
and sweaters
Decorate that scene

And the kids with their
Chalk and chatter
Took more than
A glance
from me

Breath broken up
Lungs thick with chill
A thermos to my lips

Your hand on my thigh
Teeth straight, mouth pursed
Eyes tightened in a squint

And for a moment
As the swing arced high
I was the little one
Holding on tight

Legs too short, barefoot
Shoes kicked off
To the dirt
And my gaze, so wide
At the blotted blue sky
That the whites started
To burn.

And then I have stopped
At the corner
Red sign
That nail polish
Again
And the place where you told me
Someday
Hangs
In the periphery
With you in it

So I twist my neck
Back around, and my hands
Plunge into my peacoat
Rough tweed
But the sky is not bright
Like that one day
It's grey
And to want you's not what
Someday
Means.