Saying goodbye is always the hardest part.

You left every day,
But I always knew that I would see your freckled face and beautiful blue eyes in less than 24 hours.

I knew everything about you.
From your favorite color, to your dream guy,
We shared everything.

I knew that your family had a hard time coping when your dad decided to end his life.
I knew that your mom had just gotten a new boyfriend, and that you felt guilty for “replacing” your dad.
I knew that you ran off to touch up your flawless makeup a few times every day.
I knew that I thought you were the prettiest person I had ever met, inside and out.

But what I didn’t know is what killed you.

I didn’t know that you were struggling to get through the day.
I didn’t know about the girls that harassed you in the hallway.
I didn’t know that you didn’t look in the mirror and see what I saw.
I didn’t know that those girls didn’t see the same things I saw in you.
I didn’t know that your beautiful smile was forced.
I didn’t know that the shine in your eyes was from all of the tears that landed on your bright yellow pillow case the previous night.
I didn’t know that you needed help that I couldn’t give you.
I didn’t know that you were about to follow in your dad’s footsteps.

For years all I wondered is how we were so close.
I was eleven, you were thirteen,
Yet you still accepted me.
But they didn’t accept you.
And that’s what broke you.

As you walked out the door, your short, blonde hair fell behind your shoulders.
Little did I know, I wouldn’t be seeing your freckled face the next morning.

Your mom called me the day after everything went down.
I didn’t know that this was happening.
Because if I did, I would have told you that I love you.
I wish I could tell you now.

Saying goodbye is always the hardest part.