My pockets are heavy.
They weigh me down
Causing me to trudge through
Every day,
My legs seem to be made of lead
Because though my head is full of clouds,
My pockets are full of doubt,
Full of fear,
Full of nerves,
Full of anxiety.
My pockets are full.
But not of the things
That you would expect
Someone’s pockets to be full of.
They are full of
Broken dreams,
Lost memories,
Forgotten hope,
Oh, and lots and lots of lint.
My pockets are tearing,
The sadness and loss that fills them
Is getting out of control,
Filling more and more space
Threatening to escape its prison
And overwhelm my body.
My pockets are pretend.
People see little squares of cloth
When in reality, the pockets are
Just a way for me to hide my sorrows,
I've run out of space in my heart for despair
And I’ve no room left in my mind for all the apprehension
I’ve no room in my eyes for the horrors
And I’ve no room in my mouth for the lies.
My pockets are tiny.
Let's face it, girl pockets are
Like ten times smaller than guys’.
And yet, I've managed to fill
Them to the brim with things I
Want to keep away from the world.
My pockets are not just pockets.
They are a part of my soul that
I don't want anymore,
So I hide it.
I push it deep, deep down,
As deep down as my girl pockets go.
My pockets are heavy.
They carry the weight of
Fifteen years worth of pain,
And with it all the time spent
Wishing everything were easier
And prayers for the tears to stop,
Hopes that my sadness won’t define me,
And desires to be rid of all the things that
Weigh me down.
My pockets once carried happy things.
Little toys, erasers, and candy.
But now they hold things like
Pepper spray, things that protect me
From the harm that befalls millions
Every day.
Keys, because I’ve been locked out
Of my childhood and I’m not sure
There’s any way back in,
The keys are fake and I have no way
To get back the things I lost when I grew up.
Tissues, to wipe up my tears,
Dry my red, puffy eyes,
Allowing me to pretend
That I am happier than I appear to be.
My pockets may seem insignificant
To you, but I assure you,
My pockets hold more emotion
Than you could fit in an entire ocean.
And I'm not afraid to say so.