I was only 3

Broken Dreams

Shattered childhood

Crashed to the floor like pieces of a mirror being smashed with a sledge hammer

Just like that "snap"

Kids who walked when home and told their parents "It's like taking candy from a baby"

Becasue I was a baby

And my life.... was the candy

I was 6

Plastic tubes covered the walls like oddly coloured party streamers.....but there was never a party

Everywhere I looked all I saw was bloodshot eyes and bloated faces

The bloodshot eyes because of the tears

The bloated faces becasue of the pain

DON'T TELL ME YOU CAN DEFINE PAIN

Pain... was the shadow always following me 

Every single day was an uphill ending in a cliff 

A tidal wave of pain killers

Crashing down 

Over and

Over and

Over...

I was 10 

While others relished hitting double digits 

I sat alone building casts around the broken parts of myself

Trying to fix them so I could hide them away

Pretend they didn't exist

If I belived they weren't real mabey just mabey they would dissapear

BECAUSE SOMTIMES BEING LONELY HAS LESS TO DO WITH BEING ALONE AND MORE TO DO WITH FITTING IN

I was 12 

That was all I wanted to do

To erase the constant stares and backround whispers stuck on replay inside my head

But thank you world

Thank you for making every hall every sidewalk a battle ground where I am outnumbered

I am 16 

I still have to lie through my teeth so I can keep your trust

Because if I tell you the truth it might slip right through my teeth and then I will have lost whatever I might of had

And even though I have mostly recovered

I am still fighting

So congratulations

Because this all started when I was 3