Within

June 2, 2016
By Black_Pool BRONZE, Al Sharjah, Other
Black_Pool BRONZE, Al Sharjah, Other
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything is beautiful but beautiful isn't everything.


Ecstatic,

I am happy,

I am smiling big.

Situations,

Not any better,

But I still sing.

Tests,

Increasing more,

Day by day.

Failing,

Breaking down,

Crying my heart away.

Bad things,

Keep happening,

All the time.

Injuries,

Burning skin,

Revealing crimes.

Devils,

Coming in,

Now and then,

Ill-mannered,

Doing crimes,

Singing sick rhymes.

Angels,

not here,

Gone away,

Not helping,

Not appearing,

Just hitting the hay.

Time,

Running fast,

Doing sprints,

Life,

Becoming hard,

I am burning within.


The author's comments:

I wrote it on a random day.


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This article has 2 comments.


on Dec. 31 2016 at 5:59 am
Black_Pool BRONZE, Al Sharjah, Other
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything is beautiful but beautiful isn't everything.

Thanks :) I'll keep trying :)

on Dec. 29 2016 at 12:36 pm
EvaOphelia BRONZE, Temple City, California
1 article 0 photos 1 comment
"Bad things,Keep happening," I found it interesting that you chose to put a comma here, in the middle of what could be one phrase. This kept your comma usage (with the occasional period breaks) constant, which I felt helped convey an ever-onward, non-stop kind of feeling. I felt consistency was key to this poem. "Singing sick rhymes" stands out - I like it. All in all, your poem really has great tone and purveys meaning well. Keep writing to polish you skills!




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