Families are supposed to be the ones you would die for,
The ones that you give everything you have just for them to keep it,
That’s why when the clock struck midnight on cold brisk nights, the wind howling down the alley
I sat with you on the carbon copy carpet, fiery red 5 layer impressions forming deep into my thighs
While you spit flames that burned so close to my bones
Small saline drops flowing from your eyes,
Because I remember silent rooms, shivering shoulders, and broken hearts.

I remember the voicemail,
It’s been a year and a half and I could probably still find it,
“I don’t know if you’re coming today, I hope you do”
Do you still want to see me?

You cant help but to helplessly wander through this cluster abyss
Trying to find yourself and who’s most important to you
At one time you had them, and now, now we’re gone.

Even though we can't always see it, he’s in there somewhere, under the cloak of hate and disgust
And I know that, I can see that
I know the same one who whispered lock tight secrets into my ear
The one who collapsed in my arms after those 48 hours, still lingers waiting to be found

But it’s ok, we’re okay
We return to table once in awhile
We’ll exchange glances with your chair
Trying so desperately to find a sense of him in the room
When the only thing sign of you is The bottle
it's still just where you left it
¾ full with full refills.
There it sits, and there it remains

Im sure the saline still falls,
The hate still trickles
The shoulders still shiver
Only this time, I don’t remember