First Love | Teen Ink

First Love

May 17, 2016
By AprilAries98 GOLD, Lowell, Massachusetts
AprilAries98 GOLD, Lowell, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments

He was my first love,
Perfected through fights, screams and salty tears.

The person who kept me up late at night through whispers.

The child who guided me in finding my own path.

My first love was a boy who shared nearly identical DNA with me.

My first love was the boy,
Who wouldn’t let me touch his army guys,
When his friends were around.

Sticking “boys only” signs on his door.
Acting as if I was a typical bratty sister.
I would cry and pout but, he’d always show a quick smile,
When his friends looked away.
Letting me know I’d always be his favorite Mandi.

He’d pretend he didn’t know  who I was
as I frantically waved in the school halls.
But, He’d ask how my day was on the walk home.

He showed me a shortcut along the baseball field,
Just the two of us,
Running through the dewy grass,
Guiding me through the early morning fog.

We snuck raw cookie dough
And licked pudding off of whisks.

He showed me what a whitewash meant,
Caking my features with iced snow.
When I sobbed, he’d run over,
Pleading me not to tell Mom.
Laughing through tears when he let me do it back.

He would shoot me down with nerf guns,
Only to show me how to slide the foam bullets
In the slots, teaching me to pull the trigger.

We jumped on couch cushions and pillows laid across the floor,
Our sacred Islands protecting us from the bubbling Lava.

Creating s'mores as messy as our conversations,
Trying to bump each other’s marshmallows into the flames.
Laughing at our chocolate covered lips.

He was my first love,
Reminding me of couples who always fight,
but come back to each other..
The strength of love.
No one understanding why they were still together.

Everyone thought we were bickering siblings
That couldn’t stand each other.
Most of the time we couldn’t.
We fought like magnets being pulled apart,
We fought like Squirrels over an acorn.
He was the mean older brother.
I was the annoying little sister.

I stepped on my bus freshman year, fumbling to scan my card.
He reached behind me and adjusted it,
Rolling his eyes at me as his fellow Senior classmates snickered.
But, he showed me how to get to my building.
Telling me to have a good day.


It didn’t hit me until he left for college,
No longer bickering siblings.
All the times I screamed at me.
All the times I told on him.
All the times I stole his stuff.
All the times I laughed at his mistakes.
But this time I wanted him here,
I didn’t care if he shoved me away
Screamed at me,
Bickered with me.
I just wanted him here.

I wished he was there to protect me.
I wanted him to be there for the nights where,
I felt the blame of every household fight on me.

I wanted him to be there for the times we passed family secrets.

I wanted him to be there for the nights, where I didn’t want to do this anymore.

But he was,
Because we had the same nose, lips and eyes.
Because we held each other’s life stories.
Because we still used the same shampoo.
Because we both corrected others’ pronunciations of our last name.

My first love wasn’t some guy that kissed me goodnight,
That opened doors for me and slid his arm around me.

My first love insulted me.
My first love made me cry.
My first love ignored me.
My first love pushed me away.


BUT, My first love never needed to say I love you.
My first love never needed to tell me I looked beautiful.
My first love never needed to tell me his life story.
My first love never needed to ask for forgiveness.
Because I already knew it all.


The author's comments:

This is a spoken word poem in honor of my brother.


Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.