Not like we used to anyway
The key to a friendship is fighting but being close enough to stay as you were before
Now that I’ve had my chance
To make friends other than you
You think I’m abandoning you
You think I’ve deserted
I still want to be your friend
I still want to hold onto the memories and laughter
Now
You choose a different partner
You choose a different group
You and I have different friends
Only a few friends stay true
Different classes
Some the same but
Different tables, different seats

I spent so long
So long on that one thing
Countless hours of work
You understood
But when I kept those friends afterwards
You didn’t

We used to make a quilt
Full of the time spent together
Full of inside jokes and fun
Now I’m holding on to the threads
And you are pulling at them
Reaching for more than what we have left

When we were younger we fought over the silliest things
You used to tease me about my dry skin
My short hair that I never grew out
But we had each other
And that was enough
It was easy to stay friends when you only had so many

I’ve had my shot in the spotlight
Dozens of new friends I’ve made
Slews of inside jokes you won’t get
But you have those too
And I understand that
When we try to hang out
We have no connection
You never truly pay attention
So I end up with the boardwalk
And games I’ve never played
You’ve played countless times
With other friends, but you don’t want to play with me
We are both not at fault
The universe is pulling us apart
It was a miracle we stayed together for so long
You used to treat me like I’m the lesser version of you
Your slightly better at math
At language arts
Each year, you got more ahead of me
Now I can’t tell understand what you learn
What you write I can’t comprehend
I finally feel like a part of something
I finally feel like I’m not left out, that I have something that you don’t, for once in my life
And you treat me as though I only went up to you that day in 3rd grade out of pity
That I never really wanted to be your friend

In 4th grade, we fought about bagels
It was so stupid, but hurt so much that you considered what I ate everyday to be bad for me
That I would get fat and unhealthy if I continued eating the same meals
In my head I was raging
Called you a hypocrite
Didn’t understand why you would suddenly outburst at me like that
Then recess ended.
You never truly said you were sorry, but I understood that you were

I promised I would try
I am
I promised we were friends
We are
I’m sorry for not knowing I hurt you
But don’t blame me for something I didn’t do