There she was right in front of me, she was touching me, but i couldn't feel her.

She wasn't there. 

Except she was.

She was laid out on my lap, e x h a u s t e d.

Bundled in the car, anyone could've mistaken her crouched body for a 10 year old, but she was going on 19.

We had two hours to many left in the car until home.

I read a book feeling nestled by the warmth of her body in the crook of my seat.

She looked up at me, barely just waking up

only for a meer second but she looked at me

hard enough to make herself believe she could really hide all that pain from me. 

Weary eyed as the rain trying to commit a deep lie

She readjusted the latches on her purse so it leaned on me more comfortably

She gently placed her head back down

I knew she was just as tired as me from the future that hadn't come yet, So i let her rest without any words exchanged

Her eyes drifted back to black ...

Long pieces of red hair set sail along my upper thigh, wind dripped some scraps of red down my knees 

Her legs crouched to form an open triangle

Her undressed toes touched below her butt

I brushed my hand down her tight but small bicep carefully

lightly over every part of her sweatshirt that was dark as an untampered cup of coffee 

She fell asleep to me playing with her hair, like most nights

I let my mind slip into a coma reviewing the hard truth of the meaning behind what happened last night

It took a lot for me to confide in the main reason i had been feeling this way 

But i did it.

I said "Hey, you can be scared. I know I am."

She never could admit she was but, today, today i got my validation from her questions to the lawyer, her undivided loyalty to the worried look on a pale face.

She could go to jail. She could not.But she could.

I zippedmy mind closed and returned to the moment of right now (or what was right now then)

The radio...on

The GPS...Home, Safety

The normality of this scared me even more. To think that it won't stay like this.

I looked at her.

My sister.

Bound by heart but not by blood.

Beautiful

Smart 

Brave

I could not be prouder to know such a role model.

She was scared, but everyone deserves to think they have a secret

Right now i knew her biggest fear

Right now she laid on my lap

Right now she was begging for comfort

Right now she's still mine.

I can feel her!

Hug her!

Laugh with her!

See her smile!

This is my present. 

Thank you God.

I embraced it, no one could take her away right now.

I love her and i will fight for her.

She is going nowhere without me and everywhere with me 

She will never lose me...

          As I will never lose her. 

             At least not where love matters the most.

                                     ~e.p.