Sirius A

When I go to space, I want the entire universe to know I was there.
I want to wear Saturn’s icy rings on my fingers
So I can weave golden days and silver hours
And time will never lose its shine. 
I want Neptune's waves to wash my troubles
Away with the tide
And I want his tempestuous winds to carry away the weight on my shoulders.
I want to walk through Pluto’s Underworld,
Watch gleaming rubies bloom like roses from the rich soil
And free the ghosts of my past into Elysium
So maybe I can have some peace for once,
Freedom from my own head,
My inner demons attack me with piercing spears
I want to burn my feet on Mars' fiery battleground
Feel each stinging knife cut away all the times 
I told myself I was better off dead
And each hurtful arrow shot from their mouths into my ears
Would splinter and dry in the heat
And each angry cannon fire scream would crumble 
And blend into the earth
And maybe something good will grow from them.

When I go to space, I want to leave craters on my home planet.
When I told my parents that I was queer,
They still sowed seeds for me and let me grow into a flower,
My vines twisting around and never lining up straight 
Petals stretched to the sun with nothing holding me back.
I want Mother Earth to find the flowers who can’t bloom,
The LGBTQ+ women and children and people of color like me
Whose seeds are crushed by hatred’s heavy heels 
And sow oak seeds for them so they can grow into trees
Big enough to break down the closet doors and glass ceilings. 
We’ll grow taller than skyscrapers
And crack the starry night sky
Invincible. 
Cosmic.
Infinite.
And then
I want Venus’ love to wash over Earth 
And her doves’ peace-brushed wings to fan it
(And as feathers fall like snow around me,
I can see my lover’s glowing smile in front of me
And feel his arms around me
We once stood for centuries in each other’s arms
Not wanting to let go
And never before had love been so warm
Or had lips been so gentle
Or had my heart been so light)

When I go to space, I want to shine brighter than a billion suns.
I want to slide Mercury's winged shoes on my feet
And launch myself deep into the dark, glittering cosmos.
I want to feel the gossamer fabric of the universe against my skin,
Weave constellations,
And roll moons around in my fingers like marbles.
I want to trace the ragged inside of the Apollo crater
So I know that I shot for the moon and claimed it 
For me
And I want to feel Orion’s piercing spears on my arms
So I know that I made it past the stars
I want Uranus to watch
As I claim his moons
And his starry kingdom for my own.
I want Jupiter to darken the sky
To prepare for me, 
the oncoming storm,
The Greater Red Spot,
The true king of the planets,
Look out, world,
My astronomical ambitions can fell cities
And my dreams are big enough to smother out the sun
And anything that tries to stand in my way will be lost in the whirlwind
The stars will flicker and die to make room for me,
Thus I will leave black holes in my wake.
I will absorb the sun’s heat and the world will burn.
I will defy all laws of gravity
And, 
No matter how hard you try, 
You won’t be able to pull me down.