…silence…
…nothing…
…no thoughts…

…

Then every thought crashes through my head at once 

No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No
Four Burgundy Lines
No, oh God, please no
The skin around is peeling
White flakes
Those lines don’t belong there
Not on her skin
Sunday? No, it couldn’t have been…
Five days ago
I didn’t know
How did I not know?
I was just with you
I can’t solve this
I can’t fix this
I don’t know what to do
And then I’m crying
And you hold me
When I should be the one holding you
Why didn’t you tell me?
I failed you
Maybe if I had noticed something that night
Maybe if I was a better friend
Oh, if only, if only,
Maybe I could have done something
How was I supposed to know the pain you felt?
Was so much you wanted to carve it out
You had danced around the room with us
You smiled the whole night
You laughed the loudest
I feel guilty
I thought you knew I was there for you
Why didn’t you call?
I’m sorry, oh God, I’m so, so sorry
I failed
I can’t fix you
I can’t gather up all the broken pieces
Because there are none
I just have to be there for you
That is the worst thing
Knowing that I can’t fix it
I can’t make it all go away
I kiss those lines
Because I hope you know
I love you
I love you