She walks in circles
Round and round
Until she forgets where is
North
South
East
West

She repeats the adjectives
Beautiful and ugly
Over and over
Until they lose their meaning

She smiles and frowns
Again and again
Until her facial expressions no longer match her emotions

She counts the numbers
One to ten
Repeatedly
Until each number loses its quantity

She laughs and cries
For no reason at all
Until laughing and crying feel the same

She’s puzzled.

She argues with her parents
Shouts and talks back
Until she cannot recall her reasons

She writes with her right hand
Then eats with her left
Then waves with her right
Then left
Until she forgets which one is her dominant

She buys the shirt
She’s always wanted
And then realizes
She no longer likes it

She goes to the convenient store
To buy a lollipop
But she can’t remember her favourite flavour

She hangs out with her friends
And does the activities of their childhood
Shopping
Sleepovers
Baking
And notices she no longer has fun

She’s lost.

She eats her favourite desserts
Cakes and cookies
Until they lose their flavour

She crosses the days off her calendar
Like she used too
Until she sees no point to keeping track of time

She fails her math test
The subject she excelled at last year
And cannot comprehend why

She goes to school physically
Not mentally
So that Monday and Friday
Feel no different

She sings the lyrics of her cherished song
Listening to it on replay
Until she is annoyed
And deletes it off of her iPod

She doesn’t understand.

She knows something is different
Something is wrong with her
She’s heard of anxiety and depression
But no
She’s sure
That is not it

She feels truly lost
She has no idea
Of what it is
That changed her
And turned her into a lifeless brick
With no feelings or emotions

A mental disorder of some sort
One she can’t give a name to
A disorder that traps her
Because she doesn’t know what to do next
She has no treatment
No way of healing

She’s puzzled.
She’s lost.
She doesn’t understand.

She is going through confusion.