We were a horror story,
The stars never aligned for us,
We should’ve never met,
But we did.

A spark ignited our fire and
We blazed and simmered
And blazed and simmered
I can’t help but remember it like yesterday,
It feels so close,
You and me,
But you’re long gone, a million miles away
And I’m here, wondering.

Alone in that car,
I sold you my soul and my mind to the vodka
And I chugged,
While you inhaled two-thousand chemicals plus my poison.
Silence filled the space between us,
Because I wasn’t fooling myself anymore,
You were long gone from that moment on.
That silence never filled the hole in my heart
Or that void in your mind that made you believe I was never the one.

And I chugged.
I tried not to vomit, but the words poured out
“I love you, but I can’t do this.”
I couldn’t do the sinking, caving feeling in my chest,
That suffocated me every time I got out of that car.
I couldn’t believe that the one person,
I chose to be my person,
Couldn’t grasp I was their person too.
So I chugged.

Then you clenched
And you pushed
And you pushed me so goddamn hard against that door
It broke my heart.
I felt it crack,
snapping into three different pieces,
One for you, one for me, and the piece that for lost
Somewhere between all the yous and mes

And I chugged
Then you slapped,
My face burning as harsh as the liquor on my throat.
My cheek was pulsing since my heart wasn’t.
And I scrambled,
While you stayed silent, inhaling two-thousand more chemicals
But exhaling my poison.
My clothes disheveled all over my body
And nothing fits quite the same as it did before.

And I got out.
The door slams hard behind me,
And to this day I’m not sure who closed it,
Me or you.
I can’t help but think,
I closed the door on you.