A Different View | Teen Ink

A Different View

February 29, 2016
By booklion17 PLATINUM, Wind Lake, Wisconsin
booklion17 PLATINUM, Wind Lake, Wisconsin
42 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Libraries were full of ideas–perhaps the most dangerous and powerful of all weapons.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass

“No. I can survive well enough on my own— if given the proper reading material.”
― Sarah J. Maas, Throne of Glass


I just wanted to see something different
At least that’s how I got into this mess
Such a simple request
I just wanted to see something different

I couldn’t stand the daily view
The flaws in every part of me
A treacherous monotony
I couldn’t stand the daily view

It started out as innocent
I changed my makeup and my hair
Picked out baggier clothes to wear
It started out as innocent, I swear

But this superficial change wasn’t enough
Because the problem wasn’t the girl on the outside
It was the shame on the inside I wanted to hide
This superficial change just wasn’t enough

The eyes of my heart still saw the same landscape
But how does one touch their aching soul
There’s not enough paint to cover that hole
The eyes of my heart still saw the same landscape

I breathed in an air of disgust towards myself
I wanted to punish the vermin within
It seemed to hide just under my skin
I breathed in an air of disgust towards myself

I figured out how to change the view
With a knife or a flame;
Or a fist that knew where to aim
I figured out how to change the view

I’m never going to be the same
With scars on my wrists
And buried bruises from my own fists
I’m never going to be the same


The sight used to own me
The marks with time may fade
But never the memories of the blade
The sight of myself used to own me

Now I see something new
A person who has lost her way
But a stronger girl here to stay
Now I see something new

I just wanted to see something different
And now I’ve got lightning tiger stripes
A better version of me, a new prototype
Now I see someone different.

 

All this; because I wanted a different view


The author's comments:

I've been struggling with self harm for a very long time and am currently rocovering. This poem is just how i've felt about everything i've been through, and to remind me that recovery is possible.


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