I got caught in the waves the other day.
Not figurative, not metaphorical;
Literal waves.

Bluffs of water swirled around me
Taking me up and over
Below and underneath

Out of complete control
Amidst the chaos
I found solace

For my entire life I have struggled with control
The burden of having too much
And the fear of losing it

In these moments I had none
Any semblance of control I thought I had
Was ripped away

The waves lifted me off my feet
Where I could breathe for a moment
And then dropped me to the floor

Like a ragdoll in a storm
I was left to the mercy of the waves
But I felt no fear

How silly was I to think I had any command over life
Any power or illusion of supremacy
When I am a grain of sand in this universe

So I let the waves overtake me
Tossed and tumbled in their strength
Stopped trying to swim

Felt water in my nose and eyes
Felt the sting of a cresting whitecap
And never felt happier.