I forgot how to cry.
Looking back,
I can’t find when I did.
I was always really emotional,
emotions carrying me to an island far away for reality.
The mad rod of tears,
was either anger or sadness.
But pain reigned over all,
Both physical & verbal.
The sizzling sensations of a belt,
each strike creates a silent scream.
The harsh words from a mother,
nobody’s words hurt more.
Over time,
the anger in me was buried.
I cried at movie scenes.
When Mufasa dies in Lion King,
or when Jack dies in Four Brothers.
I look back & laugh at times,
Yet,
I can’t find when I forgot how to cry.
Years later,
tears were nearly extinct.
Lifeforce dwindling from day to day life.
Don’t know from over use,
or thee fire within evaporating them.
I tried to cry once,
But my eyes mocked my attempt.
I still can’t remember,
how I forgot to cry.
But maybe my past,
isn’t where I should be looking at.
So I look at myself now.
Broken,
but false mirrors shows completion.
Emotionless to most,
others detached due to fear of causing others pain.
A lifejacket of contradictions,
to keep me from drowning in a lake of disappointment.
I look back,
reflecting on my life.
Confused,
bam-boozled.
On how I forgot to cry.