I presume

it was

déjà vu

that brought me here

to the

abandoned house

to drown out

my sorrows

in a lottery ticket.

isn't it ironic

how

after a short five months

I could lose

my job

my house

my kids

and my dignity?

I feel like an unlucky beggar

fishing for the lucky Powerball

in a bay with nothing

but fish.

look at me

scratching

out this card

in hope that

a woman

like myself

who lost her soul

in the great recession

could win a million bucks.

I used to think

believing in luck was a sick joke

but now

it's the only hope I've got.