Usually people’s abilities are really noticeable.
Like you know that they are either smart or artistic or both.
But the thing is, I don’t know
what group I actually belong in.
My personality is all over the place.

For example,
people think I’m artistic.
I think I’m artistic.
I like to draw and paint and sketch,
but frankly, my drawings and paints and sketches look like s***e.
Like, trying to determine that my birds don’t look like butt cracks in the sky
is like trying to determine Einstein’s theory of relativity.
It is infuriatingly hard!
A two year old can draw better than me.
Really. I’m serious.
That’s sad considering I’m almost an adult.
So, with reality right in my face
I’m not really artistic
So, don’t say I am.
Just because you saw a really good drawing I did in grade 2
and even back then, it was crap.
Therefore, that is a group I do not belong in.

And to say I’m smart
is completely and utterly the dumbest thing anyone could ever say about me.
Yes, I’m Asian and I wear glasses,
so, yeah, I totally fit the stereotype.
It’s absolute bulls***.
I do not apply.
I am not smart.
I struggle when it comes to grade four word problems and yet,
my teachers expect me to understand
how to do the quadratic formula properly.
Well, I hate to burst their bubble…
but that probably will never happen.
I find that giving up is so much easier
than trudging through it
and not have a clue what I’m doing.
No joke, I don’t understand numbers.
Not at all.
It’s like life,
sometimes you just want to quit when things get hard
That is me,
every single, fricken math class.
So, whoever said that all Asians are smart, that person has clearly never met me.

I’m neither smart or artistic
and I’m certainly not both.
So, where do I fit in?
To be honest, I have no clue.
So, I guess it is safe to say I’m special.