Every single day,
I contemplated ending my life.
Every single day,
I thought of ways to make it look like an accident.

So my mom wouldn't be disappointed in me.

Every day,
Someone new asked me why I was leaving.
Every day,
I had to explain our story.

Because I can't lie to the people I love.

Each day,
You got to spend time with our friends.
Each day,
You got to sip tea in your cozy dorm room.

And you ate generously in the dining halls.

Every week,
Our friends cried because I wasn't around.
Every week,
I had to ask my mom to send money for food.

While I slept on a couch in an apartment full of strangers.

In the mornings,
I dreaded starting another day.
In the mornings,
I prayed for God to help me find happiness again.

We're still working on that.

Once a week,
I met with a therapist.
Once a week,
I removed things from my old dorm.

And numbed the pain on the weekends.

At night,
I lost myself in useless thought.
At night,
I remembered all the things I could never change.

So most nights, I didn't sleep.

One day,
I had to call my mom and explain.
One day,
I lied to the rest of my family.

Because they might not understand.

Someday,
Maybe I'll tell my family the truth.
Someday,
Maybe there will be justice.

And your words will mean nothing.

Yesterday,
I again considered dropping out.
Yesterday,
I applied to a new school.

At least the semester is almost over.

Today,
I had my last therapy session here.
Today,
I know where I will live in a month.

And it is nowhere near here.

Tomorrow,
I will call my mom.
Tomorrow,
She'll be glad that I'm finally happy.

Or getting there at least.