What would it be like
If my life had been different
If certain events had never occurred
If chance parts of me were switched out
For alternate characteristics
I can imagine the difference would be drastic
Sometimes i visualize what would’ve happened
If i had different genes
If i was modified on the molecular level
My DNA rearranged in another intricate pattern
A completely different girl would be standing before you
Maybe i wouldn’t be such an incredible scatterbrain
It’s possible i could morph to dumb
Or into something worse, scary almost
An even smarter me
Maybe i would be a little less weird
Instead of odd behavior 24/7
New me would cut that number in half
Who am i kidding?!?
In no universe would i be any less strange
Maybe i wouldn’t have dug myself into such a deep abyss of sadness
But then i might not have been the girl who pulled herself out
But maybe i would be able to sing
The illustrious notes that i listen to on constant repeat
Through earbuds or by memory
Either way, music is the steady beat
Holding my life to its rhythmically scattered pace
The speed is rather fast
The kind of fast that would put most in the hospital
Yet i have managed to survive
I wonder if that would still be true
In another version of this mess of events
I call my life story
My life…
The one i am learning to live my way
With a reckless passion
Filled with curiosity
And so much hope
But ever so careful
When it comes to the people i surround myself with
Plus beginning to be myself in the truest form
Around those who i do let in
No matter how scary that may be
For both me and the observer
My life…
The one i don’t want to give up
The beautiful whirlwind of laughter
With me at it’s center
Watching the gusts graze the world around me
From my place at the center
Seeing all from the eye of the storm
Despite how utterly complicated and crazy my life is
I wouldn’t change a single piece
Not one memory
Whether it was full of joy or despair
I will never bring myself to erase one moment
Because to do that
I would change me
And that’s not something i am willing to do
Afterall, i am going to help change the world
One word at a time...