I achieved boobs for boys to mock and I first used the word “c***” and I lost myself in alphabets out of order and I learned that I could also get lost in disorders and I swallowed yawns through futile teachings and I refused too many religious preachings and I choked on the shoves from elders with their ideas of what was right and I burned my throat as I threw my conceptions up with a fight and I felt a brush against my bum despite saying “no sir” and I was taught that the female body is a question mark that is asking for a man’s answer and I covered my shoulders to avoid complaints and I ignored the heat with my guilty restraints and I crushed my paper cuts with my textbooks and I wasn’t given anything but I was quizzed on what I took and I was poisoned with the ideas of wealth and I put everything above my mental health and I kissed a boy who tasted like a cigarette and I let him set a fire in my lungs with no regrets and I drowned in waves of nothing with sadness floating at the surface and I washed to the shore after trying to sink without a purpose and I cowered in my bedroom by making my torn sheets a home and I bathed in the dangers of being alone and I tried things that nearly killed me and I learned that empty things could not fill me and I ignored the road signs as I drove where I pleased and I crashed as warnings fled with the breeze and I listened to my relatives express their worries and I found that leaving was within my list of hurries and I allowed my heart and mind to collide and I thought everyone left when I was the one to run and hide and I endured the beginning and awaited the end from my place in between and I reflected on everything that happened when I was a teen

and I got my period.