Every time I swallow my throat burns

Like I've been drinking a toxic acid

Slowly killing me

My heart feels like it is screaming

Anger and bitterness

A feeling of grief I can't describe

Knowing I will never feel his hand in mine again

I wish I had memorized how his fingertips would push aside my hair

His dark almond shaped eyes

My hand on his warm, strong and strudy chest

Safe

Secure

Wondering where he is now

I heard he has locked himself in his room

And he cries

But I have also heard he is laughing

With another girl

The one he chose over me

After so many months

Of love

And friendship

It is now over

He is another stranger

We always knew it would end

But I never thought it would hurt this much

I tear down the pictures and photos from my wall

I can't stand to have his eyes burning into me

I bury his letters in a box on my shelf

That piece of paper with his words "I love you" taunt me every moment of each day

I want to just close my eyes and slip into the past

But I will eventually have to come back to reality. It hurts too much

Every song on the radio floods my mind with memories

I think I smell his musky sweet scent

I turn around but there is no one there

I wake up in the middle of the night

Thinking I'm feeling his lips on my ear and that voice whispering to me

A strong force inside of me pleas and begs

To drive to his house

Walk up the familiar driveway

Dissolve into a puddle

Let the tears fall

Allow him to take me

To be his again

But I remember

The anger surging inside of my chest

The hurt from his terrible words

I cannot go back

What will I do next time I see him?
Should I go over and smile, like nothing is wrong

Or maybe shy away and look at the ground

Or glare and fume

I lost the one who always had faith in me

Who would always ask how my day was

All I want to do is run to him and bury my face in his warm sweatshirt

And cry and let him hold me tighter than ever before