Who am I?
That is something that everyone ask themselves once in their life. And now I am to do the same.
Who am I?
I don't know; I am still young.
Still free I guess, but am I.
Even as I was little, society told me how to talk, walk, and breath.
But who I am is not one of society.
My views are out there, my personality insane.
But I am who I am.
And even though I want to except that, I have yet to, but that is my goal.
I am an atheist. I don't believe in any kind of God nor do I follow any holy book. The only book I follow is the one I wright.
I try to learn others religion though and be kind to what they believe. Honestly I applaud them on their undying faith. It's hard for me to trust in something I can't see, but others are able to do so and I have much respect.
I want to trust in science, but at times science seems to doubt itself. There is still mystery and uncertainty and that is the greatest and only fear of mine that I will admit.
The unknown. It scares me to oblivion. The future, the past, the mystery, I fear it all, if I don't know it.
I try to be brave not be afraid of bears or bugs. Yet there are times when my heart jumps and I chastise myself for being human.
But being human is what make us different, what makes us special.
Although I blame humans for the dying of our planet. I have to accept that it was to happen anyway just like the dinosaurs, so I have nothing to argue with.
My physics teacher made the good point that global warming is not the problem, the earth had a expiration date anyway we just sped it up. So instead of trying to fix something or prolog it, to instead find a new home. Move to a different world and spend our energies on a new future.
But me I don't know we're my heart lies in that.
That is for the government to decide.
And somethings the government tells us to do or what not to do triggers my mind into endless discussions. But they never lead to a definite answer, like politics, pride, and gay rights.
Politics mean nothing to me. I don't know who is in the running for the next whatever.
I know I should, because I live in this country, but I don't. And I am not sorry for that.
I never say the Pledge of Allegiance, only mumbling incoherent words if I feel that up to it.
I am no terrorist. I have much pride in my country, us, despite having some hatred have accepted many things most of the world hasn't. It's just my voice never feels quiet up to repeating the same lines everyday.
Gay rights lets just say I am not for nor against.
Race I have nothing against. I find some people from all races to be attractive. I especially have a thing for Asians (Chinese, Korean,Japanese).
I think it has to do with my unhealthy obsession with k-pop. I have grown to not only enjoy their music but also their culture and the surrounding cultures.
I do not discriminate with music; it's one of the few things that connect us all. I appreciate music from Korea, China, Thailand, Japan, France, Germany, Greece, Spain (Spanish speaking countries in general), India, Italy, Africa (drum based music), and even varieties of tribal music.

My personality is hard to explain.
In class, at first, I am one to sit in the back and be quiet.
Yet if I am with a friend I break into an endless talkative ball of energy.
I love voicing my opinion.
If people connect with me the right way they see this energy.
I have a morbid sense of humor and sometimes a perverted mind. I need a filter at times because if I get to talking I do not think before I say.
I feel as though I have an obligation to make everyone happy and to be accepted by everyone.
That is why I have the personality trait the causes me to adapt to whom ever I am with. Like I will talk differently with certain people, and act differently. I slowing replicate your personality if I stay with you too long. If you laugh at a joke I start to laugh the same way.
It is a trait that scares me but one that I have learned to cope with.
I have wisdom to spare but only keep it to my self.
I try to be caring and thankful but sometimes it doesn't come out right.
I am shy in some aspects but blunt in others.
I am desperate, but fulfilled.
My personality is a great paradox, contradicting itself all over the place.
I live in day dreams and fantasies.
I have no clue really what I want to do with I grow up.
I love doing things in art, but my abilities are no were near special.
I am an average student, with average grades, and an average life.
I do not think my self pretty and have tried to physically change that. And at times I don't care enough to try and sometime I care to much that I get in a tizzy.
The first time I got glasses was in seventh grade and I cried when I first put them on and looked in the mirror. Why? Because for that past year I thought I was getting prettier and prettier. Turns out I was just losing my sight. So for the first time in a while I saw what I really looked like.
In seventh grade I went into a time were I was super depressed but once I hit high school I convinced myself to stopping the rain of pity and move on.
That's when I started to go through the long process of accepting myself and started to search, truly look at who I am.
I still have fits of depression. When I look in the mirror some days or evaluate how I acted that day I am absolutely disgusted with myself.
But I am only human.
I have OCD with somethings and other things I am careless with. I have ADHD with somethings but other things I am completely calm.
I love the outdoors, but I don't go out much.
I love the wild but I feel protected in the city.
I want to be the best that I can be, yet I don't try.
I have so many other things I could say about myself, but I won't say them.
I am so insignificant to this world, but so important to myself.
Although people may want me to change or I may want me to change I won't.
Because I am only human and I am who I am. And my only goal and that one day I will accept this fact, and that I will accept all of me.
And at that point I hope the world will, too.