She is like the smooth pebbles on the bottom of a riverbed
strong and steady
letting it all wash over Her
little pieces lost to the current
smaller and smaller every year
but the smaller She gets
the stronger She is
a million fireflies disappearing in great surges
tiny specks of light extinguished
until only one is left
alone...but not lonely
secret smiles dancing in hidden spaces
the cracks between floorboards
and keyholes long since jammed with crayon stubs
eyes both as fathomless and clouded
as the morning fog
bony elbows and sharp spine
the peaks of tiny mountains pushing up through skin
hills and valleys stretching flesh taut

She turns to me
muddy waves of hair swinging
like sea kelp disturbed by a passing wave
made luscious by the burrs and twigs jumping out at odd angles
She whispers to me
words of ash raining down to bury me
in a warm embrace of suffocating sleep
“i love you, forest eyed girl”
giggling at herself She smiles at me
freckles hopping across Her cheeks
as if the words She just said
don’t remind me that She is silently screaming
and i’m the only one that can hear
satin fingertips run down my cheeks
a parody of what i really crave
soft fingers leaving behind weeping scratch marks
sometimes i hate Her

She lopes jauntily away down the asphalt road
the smell of dust and the taste of heat permeating the air
i try to follow
but She is already far away
i rush to catch up
Her silhouette sparkling in the distance
the musical sound of a child’s laughter long lost echoing in the breeze
a trail of red dotting the concrete in Her wake
blood seeping through my shirt
drizzling from the gaping wound in my chest
my still beating heart clutched in Her hands
like it’s a toy
like i can live without it
like i can live without Her
if i go after Her my lungs will be next
but it’s been too long since i cared whether or not She crippled me
with a gasping heave of breath i resume the chase
the path to destruction lies glittering
beautiful, but deadly

i’ve always loved beautiful things