When I was born
I was a happy little girl
Like the other little girls
But a piece of me was missing.

I seemed like everyone else
I had two eyes, two ears, a nose,
Two arms, two legs, a mouth,
But something was different.

I did not know what it was
But one Summer,
This Summer,
Something happened.

It was eleven at night, and my bed was calling to me
Before I could enter my sweet Summer slumber
I had to brush my teeth
But that is when it all went wrong.

First came the nausea.
I hurried to the stairs for the downstairs bathroom
Then came the over heating,
And the sweating,
And then the black dots.

Bum, bum, bum,
I fell down the stairs
I called to my brother
There was no reply.

I got up and kept going
Huff, huff, huff,
I was in panic-mode
Like a mother who's child was missing.

I reached my destination
At the bottom of the stairs
The X of my treasure map
The bathroom.

I walked in hurriedly
And then I fainted
My eyes were closed
And my head hit the floor.

It bounced up like a ball
Against the stone wall
And then I layed there
Scared and alone
I called out again.

Footsteps echoed through the house
My brother swung the door open
He looked afraid
"Get mom," I whispered,
And he sprinted off.

She gasped when she saw me
“You’re bleeding,” she said
I did not notice
I was numb.

The ambulance arrived at one
When it was already tomorrow
The kind gent opened the door for me
But alas, I was not the one who entered.

Three buzzing hornets flew into the vehicle
It took awhile to get them out
And one was simply locked in a cabinet
Confined like a prisoner.

We sped off into the night
Down the skinny country roads
Going one hundred twenty miles per hour
Faster than a cheetah chasing its prey.

The destination was an hour and a half away
Yet we arrived in the matter of twenty minutes.
I realized the urgency of the situation
And it made my blood run cold.

They glued my skin together,
Right above my right eyebrow
So that the glue was in my eyebrow
And I looked like my little brother had shaved part of it off.

They sent me to the next doctor,
Who had curly dark hair,
and eyes that reminded me of a fountain
with chocolate dripping down the sides.

He drew my blood,
And put suction cups on my skin,
And wrote down everything I said
Like I was an important celebrity guest.

I had to stay the night.
I heard babies crying
And saw nurses running through the hallways
It was two in the morning
And I was tired.

There were two single beds in my room,
A television in the hall,
A balcony,
And a luxurious bathroom,
Much to my surprise.

I spent the night sleeping
Like a human probed by aliens
With wires and suction cups attached to my body
allowing little movement.

A nurse woke me at eight.
I got little sleep
But they needed to continue the testing
So they fed me an insipid breakfast
And sent me to another room.

It was finally time for the truth to be revealed
As they began the ultrasound
I laid on the doctor’s table
Completely unaware of the fact that I would finally know the truth.

When I was born
I was a happy little girl
Like the other little girls
But a piece of me was missing.

And now, I know the truth
I know why I feel empty inside
Like my heart is not complete
Like a part of it is missing--

It is because it is,
Incomplete.
A part of it is,
Missing.

Atrium septum defect, they call it
A hole in my heart
Ironically, the hole is the missing puzzle piece
The answer to all my questions.

Flash-forward to today
Sitting at the dinner table with my family
I munch on a crunchy pickle
And study it while I chew.

“Look, this pickle has a hole in it,” I realize
My older brother looks up at me
A smirk forms on his face
“Kind of like your heart,” he states,
And he is right.

People say it is not what is on the outside that matters
Because we are all the same on the inside--
Except we are not
We are so unique, that even the inside of our bodies contrast
It is not what is outside that matters
Nor is it what is inside
But what is in your mind
It is your personality, your thoughts, your feelings, what you have to say.

Everyone is different
Everyone is perfect
Everyone is unique
And despite the fact that there’s a piece of me missing,
I feel complete.