Three days have past,

I cannot go back to them now.
She is gone.
My grandma has left this Earth,
she is now up in heaven
with God.

It’s hard to accept this strange feeling
that she is no longer in my life.
It’s almost as if a portion of my heart has been ripped out;
torn away.
Like a person with an amputated limb,
it’s difficult to adjust
to the missing puzzle piece.

My grandma had lived in our house for the last four years of her life.
During that time, her and I formed a strong,
one on one,
invincible bond.
She was
so wise,
so kind,
so warm,
so comforting.
It’s hard to think about what I will do without her.

The funeral is coming
                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                         

                                                                                                                                               Patria 2
but I do not want to see anyone.                             
I want to be alone with her alive,
now.

I walk into the funeral room,
It is dark and cold.
There are so many people around me,
most of them relatives talking with each other.
There’s not a smile on anyone’s face.
I quickly become uncomfortable in this unpleasant environment.

Then I see her,
My beloved grandmother,
Laying in a shiny burgundy coffin.
The coffin matched her blouse perfectly,
Burgundy was her favorite color.
My face tightens.
Scary.
Beautiful.

My heart has froze.
To see her again, except this time dead.
My body turns ice cold.
My eyelids begin working as dams to hold back the lake of tears.
But it’s not strong enough.
The dam breaks and the emotions flood out.

I sit down in a chair in the corner
by the coffin.
The people in the room all turn their heads to look at me
now that I’ve started crying.
I know that it’s only a matter of seconds now,
until I will be bombarded with relatives trying to comfort me.
Although the only person that I want to be comforted by right now
                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                               Patria 3
is my grandma,
I want her back with me.

The flow of my tears just keeps getting heavier and heavier,
I can’t stop sobbing.
I have been taken over with sorrow,
anguish,
and heartache.

My body curls up into a ball of sadness and grief,
like a small child who just awoke from a nightmare.
In my hand,
a burgundy colored rose that I had been holding.
It was hers before she died and I had brung it to put in her coffin.

I hold the rose so tight.
Pressing it to my chest.
I feel her spirit inside me,
in my heart,
comforting me.
I will miss her so.