It hurt when I saw him after an argument,
It hurt when I listened to his voice.
Even when I decided to not care, it hurt,
It hurt so much I hyperventilate every time I saw him pass.
Every time I felt his eyes on me.

I didn’t want to be one on the list,
So I left.
I wasn’t scared of what could happen,
I was scared of what would happen for sure.
But there were times when I didn’t,
Usually when I stared directly into his eyes,
When I touched his jawline with the tip of my fingers.
And when he held me in his arms anytime I needed it.

It does hurt more sometimes,
When he touched other bodies leaving mine aside.
When he looks at other direction, even when he knows I’m looking at him.
When I’m scared and he’s not there to comfort me.

It does hurt and I am scared, but I’ll get over it.
Even when it hurts more, even if the fear freezes me,
Even if he doesn’t lays his eyes on me anymore.
Even if I forget the sound of his voice,
Or the way his skin felt after a swim on the sea.

But someday it won’t hurt and I won’t be scared, and I’ll be strong,
And happy, and so fine. That after all I won’t even remember his name.