you swipe and swipe and swipe, and it never works.

it never goes through.
you sigh and keep going wondering how long this is going to take.
there are people waiting.

so you keep going until it goes through.
you let a little smile play across your lips as you notice you're done.
you collect your papers and set them down on the counter, so they aren't soaked in blood- so they're readable.
everyone's waiting is over.
everyone gets a reason why you ended your life, so precious.

your mother will be rapping on the door in an hour, wanting to know what you're doing in there.
she gets no answer, thinking you're being rebellious again.
so, she gets the key to walk in on you and catch you in the midst of doing something you're not supposed to.
instead, she finds a lifeless body, surrounded by crimson and tile.

she sees the notes, and she falls to her knees.
she did this, she knows it.
she caused her baby's death.
her child is laying on the floor, so serene.
she calls the ambulance, but she knows it's too late.
her baby is dead.

she watches her kid be lowered into the ground.
she wishes she could've done something.
anything.

your friends are ushered into the gym, confused.
the principal approaches the podium, and clears his throat.
he announces that you committed suicide last night at 9:07 pm.
your friends hunch over and scream.
they let their voices echo throughout the  room.
they run out.
they keep running to somewhere anywhere, this has to be a joke.
they trip and fall to their knees.
the tears are flowing as freely as your blood did the previous night.
they keep shrieking one word; why?
why did you not warn them?
you made plans with them for your future together.
you gave them no signs.
you didn't tell them a thing.
you befriended them and proceeded to rip their insides to shreds.
why would you do this to yourself?
to them?

your sibling doesn't realize what death entails.
they still ask if their big sibling can play,
bringing a wave of tears to your parents' eyes.
your sibling doesn't know where you went, but they want you to come home.
they haven't given you a big hug in a while.
when you get back they will give you the biggest hug ever.
the problem is that you never come home.