Can you look into my eyes and see this isn’t me.
Not only have I grown
But I’m not the same little girl
I use to be
with a lot of insecurities
I know you still see me as that nine-year-old girl
But now dad I’m sixteen.
I remember when I screamed dad please don’t leave
Just stay with me
And you still left me to go drink
I couldn’t sleep without you
I called you a thousand times
But you just didn’t seem hear me
When you returned I showed a lot of fear
Because the police was there
This is the moment my hero
Became a criminal
Seeing guns pointed at you made me speechless
As I fell to my knees
When you left me and told me you loved me
It confused me
. I didn't know if you were leaving me
To help me or to help you
. But now I know you don't love me
And all the smiles were lies
When you told me you didn't care if I called you
Was like telling me you wanted me to die
But that was just how I perceived it.
Sorry for my love wasn't good enough.
I cry every day and every night
Wondering why you wouldn't want to see my smile.
It’s been fake since you left
Because I lost my hero and my everything
I sometimes wonder what's wrong with me
And people wonder why I am so mean
But I never had a love that lasted forever
Because the only love that matter to me
Was yours and you never did

I’m tired of the same phone calls
I can’t even ignore because I will do anything to hear your voice.

I wish you wouldn't pick drugs over my hugs
And your hoes over my presence
But one time I decided I wasn't living
So I wanted to cancel my life subscription
at this point I was stripped naked from my head to my feet
and im not saying literally but that little girl you knew has been broken
When I stood on that bridge it was for you dad.
When I stood on that chair with the rope around my neck it was for you dad
When I took the drugs
It was for dad
it's all for you dad 
Everything I do is for you
Because I know just how much you hate me.
You wanted to kill yourself because I’m your responsibility
When I take the pills I see you in my dreams
And yet they are all memories
And I have the risk of getting stuck there
I still do it because I love you.
But you are not worth me dying,
so I put up the razor,
The ropes
And the guns
Because I am worth more than gold.
If I wasn’t meant to be here
I wouldn't been created
by the mercy of God
He saved me
People said I need you.
Now I'm going to take the wings
That God have given me over the past months to fly and make it in life.
You always told me don’t let any one kill my dreams or self esteem
So whether you’re here or not
I still have to dream
And succeed to do what makes me happy.
Dad you were my hero why did you have to leave
I remember when I can call you and say he was hitting me again
and you would come in a heart beat
But now you would sit there and watch me bleed
Dad I still love you
And wish you were here
To see how much I grown
But I just want you to know
I did all this without you
I don’t care you can go out with them hoes
You can do all the drugs until you overdose
Ill rather you be dead
Then not love me
And is still here
My holidays don't feel like holidays anymore
because my family was my joy
but now most of yall hate me
I kept my grades up
because you said that's all you want me to do
Was to be good in school
But since your not here anymore
I don't feel like I have to
and loving someone was never my issue
but loving me was always hard to do
I have gotten closer with God
Since you left 
I just want to say thank you
To my true father
because he has kept me alive
when I cry I have to go to God
because the dad he gave me would rather be on the streets
putting his thing in wherever it fits
with those girls that's not good enough
because they don't match your intelligence
and that you do drugs  with .
I don't have a man in my life
but
My best friend  guides me more than you ever did.
He tells me how a boy should treat me
And he keeps me on top of everything
He protects me
Tells me he love me
And actually shows it
He is the shoulder I cry on when I’m hurting
He proved to me that all men aren’t the same
And he actually wears it
He doesn’t think it cool to run games on girls
Like you did to my mother
And you told her you loved her like no other
Dad save the bullshit
I thought I was cool to do what
I saw you do
Buying the drugs
Having a lot of girls
Selling
Until my life was tested
In that laundry mat
Dad I wish you would see
That drugs and girls
Will not fulfill your happiness
I still love you
Dad, can you hear me?
Or have I been disconnected